Let’s say you’re seven months pregnant and you decide to take a little weekend jaunt with one of your best friends. You know where I would go? No, not Palm Springs or a fancy spa in the Arizona desert. I would – duh – head to Vegas, the land of carousing, drinking, and gambling, where evenings start at 9pm and everyone wears teeny-tiny bikinis to lie by the pool. Because as an enormously pregnant lady you will totally fit in.

You know what else I would do? I’d try on swimsuit cover-ups in a darkened dressing room so you don’t realize yours is actually see-through until you’ve been parading around your hotel all day and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and realize, THIS COVER-UP IS NOT COVERING ANYTHING UP.

Sigh. Sometimes I make some seriously nut-job decisions.

Having said all that and coupled with the additional fact Heather contracted some virus, which burst her eardrum (right before we got on the plane, nonetheless), we had a fantastic time. As Chris said, wherever we went was just a background for catching up. Which we did for three days straight (Heather powered through her laryngitis because we obviously had very important things to talk about like why the hell won’t Kim Kardashian finally give in and start wearing on maternity clothes already?!?!). We slept in until we woke up, ate dinner at a leisurely pace, and enjoyed the sun. In short, we had a blast.

In fact, I’d say the most stressful part (outside of Heather’s illness and the worry I’d get called onto stage during Zumanity, Cirque du Soleil’s “sensual” show, which was a very real fear because people were getting naked and I’m in no sort of shape for those hijinks) was figuring out what I was going to wear to the pool. I’ve avoided maternity swimsuits because they’re all kind of, ahem, maternity-esque, but Jill convinced me it was preferable to my sitting by the pool in jeans and a long sleeve shirt, which is what my cheap, San Francisco self was contemplating.

In fact, once I got going, I decided on a whole look (of course, I did) that hopefully said, yes, my drink is virgin, but I still know how to rock an accessory. Maybe not a cover-up, but that’s a different story.

1. If you’ve seen me anytime in the last month, you’ve seen this dress from Old Navy because a. maxis don’t fall down like pants do and b. I’m not buying any more damn clothes // 2. Jaunty fedora from Urban Outfitters // 3. Sweet shoulder length earrings from Bella Boutique // 4. Yes, that’s a maternity swimsuit (pretty cute, right?) 5. Don’t worry, you can wear these sandals even when you’re not building a human